Mary’s Cup of Tea: the Self-Love Podcast for Women

#220: Staying Active without Slipping Back into Toxic Thoughts

After burning out on exercise during my ED days, 7 years later, I’ve been able to find a much better balance with movement. So let’s talk about HOW I’ve been able to maintain this healthy relationship with exercise– what might help you, what might hurt you, and mindset shifts to make.

You will learn...

• how to stay active in a way that’s sustainable, enjoyable, and free of toxic thoughts.
• what toxic thoughts or behaviors around exercise can look like (and how to spot them in yourself)
• the 3 phases of healing your relationship with movement
• mindset shifts to make if you want to stay active without slipping back

Remember: Your mental well-being is as important as your physical, and if your priorities were convoluted for so long during those eating disorder days, it’ll take time to come back to a sense of balance. You have time. Take it.

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!

And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love:

• The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

• 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

#219: Should Your Partner Be Your Best Friend? with Rhaina Cohen

It’s common for wedding vows to mention how one’s partner is their “best friend.” But what does that say about our best friends who we’re not married to? And does this put too much pressure on one person to be everything for you?

Back in 2020, journalist Rhaina Cohen wrote an article for the Atlantic titled “What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?” Not only did this piece go viral, it also paved the way Rhaina Cohen’s book, the Other Significant Others about reimagining the role of friendships in our lives.

Today Rhaina joins us to discuss…
- how/ why prioritizing platonic friendships actually makes your romantic relationship better
- the historical role that friends and marriages used to play and how that’s changed over time
- tips for taking your friendships from surface-level to depth

Relationships come in many different forms. Some are platonic, some are romantic, some blur the lines of both. As we grapple with what’s been declared as a loneliness epidemic, we must revere all types of relationships and give them the attention they deserve.

Follow Rhaina on Instagram: @rhainacohen
Get Rhaina’s book, The Other Significant Others:

Rhaina Cohen is a long-form journalist, author of the bestselling book The Other Significant Others, and producer and editor for NPR’s Embedded. Outside of NPR, she’s written for various publications, including The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, and The New Republic. Rhaina Cohen has a B.A. in American Studies from Northwestern University and an MPhil in Comparative Social Policy from Oxford, where she was a Marshall Scholar and did research in Denmark and Iceland on paternity leave policies. She has given talks at NASA and at universities in the U.S., U.K., and Ireland and lucky for you, on the Mary’s Cup of Tea Podcast!

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @rhainacohen

JOIN THE PORTUGAL SELF-LOVE RETREAT: https://maryscupoftea.com/portugal-retreat

Mentioned In This Episode...
The Moth conversation cards
Atlantic article “What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?”

#218: Introducing Dear Mary: "How do I get my confidence back?”

We are starting a new series on Mary’s Cup of Tea! “Dear Mary” is your new self-love advice column where Mary answers YOUR questions.

Question: “I’ve been second guessing myself so much and feeling my confidence and self-belief waver. How do I come back to feeling in my full power?”

Answer: tune in to hear Mary’s advice on how to get your confidence back.

Submit your questions: pod@maryscupoftea.com

If you like “Dear Mary,” please let us know by leaving a comment or review!

Mentioned In This Episode...
Mary's book, The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. It’s a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

#217: The Mistake We Make with Self-Love

The biggest mistake people make with self-love is explained this episode. We talk about how a scarcity mindset is emblematic of low self-worth and why we must be PROACTIVE when it comes to self-love.

You will learn how to...

• Identify scarcity thinking in your daily life
• Understand the societal roots of scarcity mentality
• Practice proactive self-care to avoid burnout

Remember: Take care of yourself in small ways before you burn out in a big way.

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And please consider leaving a review/ rating of the show!

Links to Mary's self-love book and journal:

• The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

• 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 150 with Dr. Anita Johnston: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marys-cup-of-tea-the-self-love-podcast-for-women/id1495128359?i=1000597710471

#216: You Are Extraordinary (A Pep Talk)

You are extraordinary– here’s why.

Mary talks about…

• the dual meaning behind the world “extraordinary”
• why we should stop trying to be extraordinary
• how to be a more interesting person

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!

Sign up for Mary’s newsletter for more self-love musings: https://maryscupoftea.myflodesk.com/emails

And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love:

• The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
• 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

#215: Stop Trying to Be Happy (and Do This Instead) (Encore)

Mary’s hot take on why “being happy” is not that great of a goal. Chasing happiness can leave you feeling empty because happiness is a fleeting state.

You will learn about...
- why searching for happiness is NOT good for body-image
- how hedonic adaptation gets in the way of our happiness, no matter how much we achieve or accomplish in life
- what to focus on instead of “being happy”

Remember: Happiness is fleeting. Meaning is fulfilling. Ditch the happiness treadmill and start creating more meaning in your everyday life.

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love:

- The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

- 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.
Mentioned In This Episode...
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl: https://amzn.to/3gdszZN
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson: https://amzn.to/3uH7fzO

#214: How to Make a Vision Board, Set Goals, and Create Lasting Behavior Change w/ Jessi Jean

This is a wide-ranging conversation with my friend Jessi Jean, a binge eating and mindset coach.

You will hear about...
- how to navigate health concerns without diet culture
- what to do if you want kids, but feel anxious about pregnancy/ birth
- how motherhood can change you for the better
- tips for creating a vision board and setting intentions
- the key to creating lasting behavior change and achieving your goals
- advice for feeling lost, paving your own way, and getting unstuck

Remember: don’t get caught in the trap of constantly contemplating. No one has life completely figured out, but doing the best you can with what you have is better than waiting for the answers to appear out of nowhere.

Follow Jessi on Instagram: @jessijeannn
Learn more about Jessi's Food Freedom Online Program here: https://jessijean.com/foodfreedomonlineprogram

And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @jessijeannn

Mentioned In This Episode...
Pure by Anne Geddes (coffee table book with mothers and newborns): https://amzn.to/4eM1hW5
4 Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman: https://amzn.to/3Wa1TxA
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield: https://amzn.to/3xA8FmO

#213: Sick of People-Pleasing? Here’s How to Stop

People-pleasing is engrained into so many of us. In attempts to be nice, we neglect our own needs, trading authenticity for approval.

You will learn how to...

• be honest with other people
• how people-pleasing relates to self-trust
• tips for aligning with your authentic self before making decisions

Remember: don't trade short-term approval for long-term authenticity.

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!

And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love:

• The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

• 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

Mentioned In This Episode... Getting Real by Susan Campbell: https://amzn.to/4cqguuo Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton, PhD: https://amzn.to/3W4EDRk

#212: How To Be Honest with Yourself

Negative self-talk is a form of lying to yourself. Let’s explore the power of honesty as a gateway to self-love.

You will learn how to...

• embody a mindset of radical honesty
• conquer fears by being truthful
• stop absorbing other people’s opinions as facts

Remember: You must be real with how you feel so that you can heal.

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!

And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love:

• The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

• 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

#211: The Disease that Plagues Women, Beauty Sickness w/ Dr. Renee Engeln

Our culture is OBSESSED with female bodies and their appearance making us all “beauty sick.” From constricting clothes to anti-aging skincare products, beauty culture eats up our precious time, money, and energy. This is an eye-opening and deeply-relatable discussion with Dr. Renee Engeln about “beauty sickness,” the disease that plagues so many women (to no fault of their own).

You will learn about...
- what the research shows about beauty culture and objectification of women
- the performative aspects of femininity
- the psychological effects of aging in a beauty-obsessed society
- how we can fight off beauty sickness both individually and collectively

Renee Engeln, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Northwestern University, is the author of Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women. Her lab (The Body and Media Lab, a.k.a. “BAM”) conducts research exploring issues surrounding women’s body images, with a particular emphasis on cultural practices that create or enforce the frequently contentious relationship women have with their bodies. The research, which has appeared in numerous academic journals, focuses on Objectification Theory, Fat Talk, and Idealized Media Images. She is regularly interviewed by the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, BBC, the Huffington Post, and other national media. Her TEDx talk has over 800,000 views on YouTube.

Remember: Though we won’t heal from beauty sickness overnight, we have the power to minimize how much we participate in it.

Get Dr. Renee’s book, Beauty Sick: https://amzn.to/4c67da9
Learn more about Dr. Renee’s Body and Media Lab: http://bodyandmedia.com
Watch Dr. Renee’s TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63XsokRPV_Y

And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @beauty_sick

Mentioned In This Episode...
Ep. 18, Mary’s first interview with Dr. Renee: https://open.spotify.com/episode/155JFBTBxSGCCA2UMK12qk?si=gWFYNVAjQxu2S2J8j69Z-w